Bopril

Letters to R: Ten Months!

Dear Rowan,

As I write this, you’re closer to eleven months than ten, but that’s the way of our life these days and I am pausing to celebrate your tenth month anyway. We have hit double digits! TEN months sounds so grown up, sweet girl. You’re practically a lady. You continue to trend off the charts on the awesome curve, and most days, I could literally eat you up, I love you so much (with appropriate credit to Sendak for the oh-so-appropriate words). You babble and laugh and stand independently and walk a bit Frankenstein like, but you’re getting better each day. You’re all personality, and you do a lot of the following to express your feelings: shake your head NO (sometimes as a dance move, other times as an expression of preference, and still other times? Just because you want to, of course), swipe away my hand when it is somewhere you don’t want it to be (namely anchoring whatever toy you’re trying to tip over onto yourself), hurl yourself to the ground with impressive force, arch your back and many more. On the flip side though, just the other day I was in your baby enclosure (ok, it’s jail) with you and I was talking to your Daddy when you toddled over, bent down and planted an open-mouthed slobbery kiss right on my cheek. I mean, are you for REAL? Your sweet side is really emerging these days, and you’re so cuddly when you want to be and I’m not ashamed to tell you it is my very favorite thing in the history of ever.

You want to be outside at all times, and always moving too. We go for many walks and trips to the park and we spread blankets in our tiny yard and you crawl around it, leaning over to pick at the grass and explore whatever grabs your interest. You’ve become quite the social butterfly, and you wave to every adult, child and fur-baby you see on walks, at the park and when we’re out and about. You especially love to do this during our Friday morning walks to Starbucks. “She’s so charming,” our barista says. I couldn’t agree more.

Food is close to the top of your favorite things list, and we adore watching you gobble whatever we put in front of you. So far, you aren’t incredibly picky and you let us know you’re enjoying yourself with a continuous (and enthusiastic) “mmmmmm” as you’re eating. You’ve completely conquered your sippy cup with straw, and you gulp down water with gusto throughout the day. It’s hard to believe that in a very short time, we’ll leave bottles behind completely (sniff), but for the moment, you’re still enjoying them three times a day. I’ve been impressed at the ease with which you transition…we dropped a bottle about a week ago, and I’m not even sure you noticed. Puffs and cheerios and fruit and veggie pouches still round out your culinary repertoire, and you enjoy those three very much indeed. Soon the farmers markets will open, and I’m excited to take you along and score lots of fresh produce and foods for your ever increasing appetite.

Sleeping still rates pretty high with you as well, and our nighttime routine has truly become a treasured experience for your Mama. I hand you Ellie (your treasured elephant lovey) and you lay your head on my shoulder while we rock and sing our song and say our prayers. You don’t require any rocking at all, but I find myself lingering with you these days, remembering your shape and how easily you fit on my lap, on my shoulder, on my hip. I savor those quiet moments, baby girl and as I lay you down each night, I always whisper a silent prayer of thanks for you. You snooze until 6:30 or 7 in the morning, and lately, you wake up and just lie in your crib talking to Ellie and to yourself until you’re ready to begin the day. It’s adorable.

Your first birthday is on the horizon as are a million more milestones and moments of joy. The world has never been so amazing as it’s been since you arrived. You are our everything.

To the moon, to the moon, to the moon…!

Xo,

Mama

Oh, how you've grown!

Mother's Day

Dear Rowan,

Today is our first Mother's Day together. For a long time, this was a bittersweet day because while I loved celebrating all of the amazing Mommies in the world, I was waiting for you, and this can be a rough day for mommies who are waiting.

I have said it before and will say it countless more times, but when you arrived, you took my dreams and wishes and waiting and you blew them all away. Nothing could have prepared me for you. This love is a special kind of wonderful, and I will be grateful every single day stretching all the way to forever.

On THIS Mother's Day, I watched you on the monitor for a while and then I snuck down the hall and opened the door to your room and you grinned from ear to ear. There is just no feeling or gift in all the world that could ever top that one. You made me a Mommy, sweet girl, and it really is a dream come true. Thank you for that and for today and all the days that follow.

I love you,
Mama

Happy Birthday, Nana!

When I was little, my mom would plan elaborate celebrations for my birthdays. We had skating parties and slumber parties and at-school parties where she would show up in the afternoon carrying treats for the whole class. I can almost feel the unique excitement of seeing her arrive at the classroom door and knowing that she was going out of her way to mark my special day. It's funny, but I don't remember presents from childhood birthdays, not at all. I remember decorations and party themes and whirling round and round beneath the disco ball at Skate World, living on a prayer blaring in the background. I remember that I always felt so special.

Last weekend, Mom and I talked about Rowan's first birthday and what the plans are since it is right around the corner. "I will come early!" She said. "To decorate and set up and make sure we have everything covered." I have said before what an incredible force she has been to my girl during her first year, and it really comes full circle for me when I think of Mom helping to orchestrate a special day for R just like she did for me all those years.

Today is HER birthday and I want to celebrate her and make sure she feels special. It's her first birthday as a Nana, and it has been such an amazing year. Thanks Mom, for everything but most of all for just being here. For all of it. And for working so hard all those years to make my birthdays special. I get it now, and I am so grateful.

Happy birthday! Have a mimosa on the deck and let the day unfold from there.

We love you so! Xo

Weekending Scenes

The weekend was lovely and we had loads of fun with Nana in town and now that I am buried in another grind-filled work week, I am staring at these beautiful reminders that life is (so very) good.

For The Record

The weather did this mere hours after I posted that last "please give me light" plea.

I guess sometimes the universe is listening? Grateful. :)

I Write Some Variation of This Every Year

When we look for our next house, the top must-have item on my list is going to be light. I want it to stream through the windows of every single room. I want to be able to follow it throughout the day, snuggling into cozy spots along its pattern at every day part.

I'm craving mostly white rooms with shutters and curtains that open to rolling views. And light that casts shadows and creates beams on the floor for our fur babies to crawl into.

I want to turn my face to the light no matter where I am in our home. It's warmth will find me and I will welcome it every time.

It's gray here today, and cold too. I am so done with that. We are ready for light. I hope it finds us soon.

Random Thinking on a Chilly Saturday in April

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such an ardent thinker. Does that even make sense? All the thinking can be really heavy, and there are days (and weeks and months) when I really struggle beneath its weight. But there are also days when the thoughts are lighter and I can skip along, carrying them with little effort. That's just the way it is in this busy brain of mine, and I've come to know it, like home. I'm ok with it, really I am, and yet sometimes I do still wish I wasn't such an ardent thinker.

And then I stumble upon words like these:

"Sometimes I dream of a tree, and the tree is my life.

One branch is the man I shall marry, and leaves my children.

Another branch is my future as a writer and each leaf is a poem.

Another branch is a glittering academic career.

But as I sit there trying to choose,

The leaves begin to turn brown and blow away

Until the tree is absolutely bare."

-The Tree of Life, Sylvia Plath

And even though I read them years ago having discovered and devoured most things Plath in high school (thank you, Ms. Light and the first of many beloved AP English classes), they still kind of undo me. Because even though I'm an ardent thinker, and even though I relate to those words as if I wrote them myself, I don't think or write that clearly, that lyrically, that truthfully.

I don't want the leaves of my tree to blow away while I'm busy trying to choose. 

++++++++++++++

I was digging through photos while writing R's nine month post the other day and I realized just how rarely I've picked up my camera in the last year. I really need to work on that. As much as I adore my iphone and as often as I capture our life with it, I believe that there will come a time when I will really treasure the photos taken with the "real" camera. So I guess I'd best start taking a lot more of them.

Lately, I've been thining about knitting. Who knows why. It seems like a cozy habit, peaceful and rhythmic. Truthfully, I'd likely make an abysmal knitter, but I've got a random inkling to give it a try. MIL, if you're reading, perhaps you'll share tips? :)

++++++++++++++

Baby Girl is peeping on the monitor signaling the end of naptime. There's no cohesive way to end this ramble, and so I will just go.

Until next time.

Letters to R: Nine Months!

Dear Rowan,

This morning, your Uncle Matt texted to check in on you (he was over last night for a brief visit - what a treat!), and he said "what's crazypants up to?" I had to laugh because this is a perfect descriptor for you at nine months. You're constant motion, go go go. You babble and drool and bounce and dance and switch from one activity to the next at warp speed.

Gone are the days when we'd sit you with a pile of toys and watch while you played quietly for long stretches of time. Now it's like someone pushed your fast-forward button and you can't (or more likely won't) stop. You crawl and then you stand and then you squat to sit to stand again. You dance at your music table and anytime I play your favorite song, which for the record, is Gangnam Style. The dancing is amazing and I must say, you really feel the beat baby girl. I hope you'll always dance.

You love your one puzzle so much these days, so I'm on the lookout for a few more for you. Your favorite is to tear it apart after I assemble it, but I know you'll be assembling on your own in no time. I can see your little brain at work as you take your stacking cups apart and bang them together, pull your stackable stars off and on their base and - your favorite - rip apart your play mat and shove its various parts into your mouth.

You're still a big fan of books, and we typically read them one after another until something else grabs your attention and you're off and running. We've had a few bursts of nice weather and you love to be outside. We go for a lot of walks and a lot of swinging at the park, which I think you'd do forever if we'd let you. As we approach the playground, your grin consumes your entire face and you shriek with glee, arms in the air or clapping or both. 

We are getting more adventurous with food, and you are eating a lot of finger foods these days, shoving them into your mouth as fast as I can get them onto your high-chair tray. You've had blueberries, bananas, plums, avacado, peas, carrots, sweet potatoes and just this morning, we tried scrambled eggs for the first time. The texture was a bit odd for you, but after a couple of bites, you got the hang of it and shoveled it in, so I'm thinking it's another hit. Puffs are still your favorite, and you're a pro at drinking from your sippy cup with its adorable straw. You have seven (!) adorable teeth now, which helps with the eating, and you love to crinkle your nose and grin so that you're showing off those chompers. This never fails to amuse whatever audience is in your path. 

Bathtime continues to amuse you, but it has become a workout for Mama. You want to thrash around and stand up and splash, splash, splash. I don't think your ducky tub is going to contain you for long, my love. You've caught on to the fact that sleep is awesome, and you're still napping twice a day (usually around 9am and 2pm), and bedtime is 7pm. Most of the time, you snooze until 7am (sometimes 6:30).

You're very spirited and quick to show us what you don't like, typically by arching your back or going completely limp, crumbling your face and then shrieking. Those things are: diaper changes, having your nose or face wiped, your after-bath routine, getting strapped into your carseat, seeing Mom or Dad leave the room (this one is new), and being diverted from activities or objects of interest (usually dangerous ones).

You squeal and babble (mama, gaga, bababa) and hum and squeak all day long, and your personality explodes alongside your skills daily. It's such fun to watch you and play with you and interact with you these days. It's been an incredible month, and while I'd love nothing more than to force time to slow down, I'm also overwhelmed with anticipation for what comes next. I always think "this just can't get any better," and then you prove me wrong every time.

As we say and sing every single night, you are my sunshine. And I love you to the moon, to the moon, to the moon.

xoxo,

Mama

Nine Month Stats

We had our quickest doc trip yet yesterday, and at nine months, our girl weighs twenty pounds even (75th percentile), and she is a little more than 28 inches long (also 75th percentile). Her head continues to trend off the charts just like her Mama, but it is still following the curve, so we will prepare ourselves for a lifetime of needing to search really hard to find hats that fit.

She rocked the developmental checklist too, and I gleefully said yes to every question and added a few more accomplishments to her impressive list: we've got clapping and babbling and "so big" and dancing and crawling and pulling up everywhere and cruising and eating lots of new foods and so much more.

We don't go back until the one year mark, and I'm a bit melancholy at how quickly I know that will arrive.

We love her so. Onward we go.

Weekendings: Bubbles and Spring

We started a music and dance class this weekend. It's something that's long been on my list, but just kept getting delayed again and again, sort of like getting professional photos taken of our girl (sigh). Anyway, we marched into Bubbles Academy on Friday and enjoyed what had to be the cutest, most hilarious and fun hour ever. Rowan did not display the typical "first-timer" behavior, and from the start she was crawling at break-neck speed chasing after stuffed animals and large green beach-balls. She pulled up on legs that weren't mine, smiled a tooth-y hello to all in her path, and stole the spotlight during song circle by demanding a guitar solo not once, but twice. Toward the end, we did that famous parachute thing where you put the babies underneath and then all the mommies (and nannies) gather round and shake the colorful tarp up and down, up and down. Our teacher told me it was fine to duck under with her if I wanted. "Sometimes it can be scary at first," she said. I looked down at my girl ready to jump beneath the next time the tarp shot skyward, but she was grinning and squealing with glee, arms reaching up, up, up to catch it. She beat on drums and shook maracas. She danced a little, but only just. It was quick and energetic and loud, and I'm still not entirely sure which of us had more fun. We will be there the next seven Fridays with bells on.

Chicago begrudgingly gave us a few signs of spring this weekend, so we wiled away most of our time going for walks and swinging at the park, and we even had our first al fresco lunch of the season today. We threw open the doors and windows, cranked up our favorite tunes, danced around, drank (white!) wine and watched the last light fade from the sky.

These weekends of ours are too short and there aren't enough of them by far, but we sure do wring out every last drop of joy each time they come around.