Bopril

A New Decade Dawns

Internet, it is official. I have entered a new decade. I am thrilled, honored, and humbled at the multitude of good wishes, gifts, kind words, cards and greetings from folks throughout various phases of my life. It's been a great look back and an excellent entry into a new chapter. I loved my 20's. I think it is even fair to say I rocked my 20's. I finished college, moved West, began a new life, started a career, met the love of my life, married said love of life, continued my career with several changes, partied, laughed, cried, screamed, ranted, sang, moved Midwest, traveled (although not as much as I should have) and got to know myself on a much deeper level. In my 30's, I'm going to continue my journey. Enhance my experience. Nurture my friendships. Adore my family. Give myself a break (at least once in awhile). Keep reaching for balance. Play more with my dogs. Hug my husband and tell him often that he is my whole life, the best part of my heart. Cherish the moments. Learn from mistakes. And then let them go. Keep in touch when it counts. Cut the cord when it doesn't. Sing out loud with the radio. Stop to smell the roses. Take more photos. Take this blog to the next level. Celebrate the good times. Accept the bad times, cry when I need to. And again, then let it go. And I hope that while I'm doing all of these things, you'll be along for the ride. As you've always been. As I need you to be. I welcomed 30 in beautiful Lake Tahoe in the exceptional company of Hubby and my Mom. Seemed fitting as Mom has guided every life moment since the day mine began, so ushering in the big 3-0 with her was exceptionally cool. We skiied and laughed and talked. We had awesome wine and fondue of both the cheese and chocolate variety at an aptly named location (The Chocolate Bar). We drove around the lake's perimeter chatting all the while about birthdays past and adventures in the near and distant future. And finally, when the final hours of year 29 gave way to 30, what was I doing? Dancing my way to a new decade with my Mom in an impromptu condo dance party. It doesn't get any better than that. We returned from Tahoe late last night and I came home today from work to find Hubby waiting with dinner followed by cheesecake, champagne and my fur babies in birthday hats. The days are early yet, but so far, 30 is looking like my kind of year. And I'm just getting started. Birthday boys w/ Mom at our impromptu family "party" Mom and I dancing our way to 30 after a day of skiing

Beautiful Lake Tahoe (even in the rain)

Confessions from A Busy Brain

I have been anxious lately...teetering precariously on the edge of overwhelmed. Thoughts are spinning and emotions are running unusually high and I'm barely able to keep focused on any one thing to even see it through. In the past, I've called these cycles "a funk," but for now, I am thinking that I need to really commit to a shift. A shift in thinking, in perspective, in attitude and ultimately, in action. A little background if you'll indulge me: I am so. very. tired. My work schedule of late has been nothing short of grueling and I'm pretty much just done for the moment. Brain is complete mush. Have worked 12 hour days in the office with my eye on the blackberry every minute I'm home and hours into the evening spent crouched over the laptop. Weekends are a blur of errands, catching up on stuff I should do during the week and yes, more time with the blackberry and laptop. And also? I haven't done a true vacation since my honeymoon 2 years ago and all the mini vacations I do are really just me working from a different location. Not in the office - nice, but I'm still connected and not really getting a break. I feel very out of shape and just not healthy. No balance, no working out, no cooking fresh, good meals. Just work. Rushing. Takeout. Headaches. Excuses. Bitching. Over-thinking, over analyzing, sheer overload. No reading, not enough time with Hubby or the dogs, no photography, no blogging, just work, think about work, rinse, cycle repeat. And the worse part? The more I do this, the less I feel that I'm doing any of it well. My focus feels off at work, my energy off at home. Priorities are out of whack and the associated guilt can be crushing. This I know for sure: a good portion of this is entirely my fault. Driven by my warped sense of perfection and Type-A inspired drive to do it all, have it all. But as I sit here typing this (with a pile of work just waiting for me), I'm beginning to wonder...if at the end of the day, I'm still feeling like I'm failing at multiple things, what really is the point? This I also know - the dilemma is not unique to me. I'm not the first to cry defeat in the pursuit of balance and I won't be the last. I am not the only one who works insane hours and still wants to somehow have a life. For today, for right now, I just needed to come here and say it. I don't have the answer, but I'm going to think about it. A lot. And Internet, tomorrow is a new day. Thanks for listening.