I was probably the furthest thing from any plan he had for his life; in those days his interests were tennis and skiing, poker and golf. He worked hard and he played hard, and I think a family of his own was probably entirely foreign to him. It's interesting how life works out sometimes, because I am not sure there is another person in all the world who understands me quite like he does. This is because, planned or not, we are cut from precisely the same cloth.
He came from the humblest of beginnings, was the first in his family to complete college, leave the circle, explore a bigger, different dream. Work has defined his entire life, from a young age to this very day; I know for sure that I've never seen a work ethic rival his. I would like to think I have inherited at least a small portion of it to call my own.
Emotion is hard for him, expression of it even harder. I understand this because it is my reality too. And yet, my heart is the deepest, most complicated vessel and I do love completely, fiercely and without fail. The same is true of him. I've always been a Daddy's girl, and even when we didn't see eye to eye, I've never doubted his faith in me, his pride or his love. It is such an honor to be able to recognize that for the special gift it is, to understand my blessings, know my heritage.
I close my eyes and I can see us back then: a blonde little girl and her hero, running after tennis balls, splashing in the ocean waves, ordering my favorite strawberry dessert at Famous Recipie, and riding first in "Big Red," and then in "Old Blue." And I remember kissing him goodbye each night before bed when he faced the night shift so I'd never have to.
When I was a girl scout, he would take my cookie list to work with him and I'd always claim the prize for selling the most.
When I was in high school, there was a time when we lost our way, couldn't see eye to eye. I know now how fiercely he loved me and that there was no line he wouldn't have crossed if he believed it was in my best interest. Even when the days were dark, I knew deep down that we'd find our way back; there was no other option. The connection has always been that deep and that lasting.
In college, he wrote me what would be the first of many cards; I have treasured it for years and it still sits, smeared and worn in a special memory box. I turn to it when I need encouragement, when I forget that I'm exactly who I am supposed to be. He was there for advice, he never allowed me to stop at rest areas when I'd come home to visit, and he drove a U-haul more than seven hours each way to move me in and out of dorm rooms and apartments, (almost) without complaint. :)
After college, he reluctantly supported my decision to move West and paid my rent until I secured a full time job. In a crisis, a medical emergency or the regular drama with "Connie the Contour," he was always my first call. Thousands of miles separated us in those days, but I never felt it because he was as close as I needed him to be.
On January 20, 2007 he walked me down a lengthy aisle and he gave me away. But not really; he told me that he agreed only to share me, that he would never, ever let me go. And at the reception, I danced with him to It's a Wonderful World. And it was. He gave me the wedding of my dreams, a fairy tale that came true because he'd have it no other way.
For 30 years, his cool, collected demeanor has calmed me; his advice and vision for me have kept me grounded, and his unconditional love and unwavering pride have given me the strength to take chances, dream big and reach beyond my comfort zone.
When I walk in a room, his eyes still light up and I know without fail that life is infinitely sweeter when you are lucky enough to be a Daddy's girl.
Happy Father's Day Dad. You're the real deal and I adore you.
I never met Hubby's Dad, but I do feel like I know him. I see him every day in the face and the memories and emotions of my husband. I am grateful for the family man he was, and for the example he set for his sons. I know he watches over each of them, his treasured family, and that he's proud of the men and women they've become. I honor him today, on Father's Day, because my life wouldn't be nearly as blessed if not for his influence on his youngest son.
Happy Father's Day Mr. Carretta; I wish I'd had the honor of knowing you.
Labels: a family thing, father's day
That is so sweet! You are so good with words. I hope your daddy had a wonderful fathers day! :)
Posted by: Robin Estep | June 22, 2009 at 05:01 AM