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I came home that night, as every night, ready to relax after a long day at work. There was something slightly cryptic in his voice on the phone, but I didn't really pick up on it. He had a surprise, but he often showered me with surprises, and it was almost Thanksgiving and I was sure he'd gone back and picked up that dog sweater I'd fallen in love with the weekend prior.
Our apartment then was tiny; we sacrificed space and luxury for location and we milked every moment of living a mere five blocks from the mighty pacific. I walked in and all was dark except for the glow of candles everywhere. A closer look revealed flowers - again, everywhere. Soft music was playing in the background (the song that we would eventually dance our first dance to at our wedding a year later) and all was very quiet and still.
Confused, I called out for him and just as my eyes adjusted fully to the surroundings, he appeared from around the corner and went immediately to his knee, our pup bouncing excitedly all around him.
Life really changes in the small moments.
When I laugh, he does too. When I rage, he soothes. When I cry, he comforts. When I'm lost, he finds the way. When things are hard, he makes them easier. When things are good - and oh, they are mostly so, so good - he takes celebration to a whole new level.
Every day - every moment - is infinitely sweeter for his presence. Color me lucky, loved, grateful.
Wow - three years and counting. What a joy it has been. What a joy it continues to be.
*Happy Anniversary Hubby - everything I am is in love with you.
**I'm a few days behind on this post, but better late than never, right?!
Our little family was in constant motion this weekend - lots of catching up and running around and checking tasks off our lists, but also - time for lots of fun. And our usual dosage of CUTE:
And you?
Over the past several years, I've given a lot of thought to the concept of time. More specifically, of its passing.
Like almost everyone, I happily wiled away many youthful years oblivious to this reality. Time's passing left no mark on me. I was young. And happy. And completely immune to nostalgia and age and the act of present being quickly swallowed by future.
I can't say for sure exactly when I began noticing - feeling time's aggressive pull - thinking that all of this has its limit. Acknowledging that in every beginning, there is most certainly an end. But it happened - an almost imperceptible shift - and I started to think (albeit in brief flashes of moments that so far, I'm able to shove back down into the dark where they belong) that it was maybe possible that my best days were behind me.
Of course, the logical side of my brain recognizes this as ridiculous. I've just entered my thirties after all - life is still completely mine for the taking! Still, I see the signs. They're everywhere really. People I love, their faces lined and taut, hair peppered with grey. Creatures that colored my childhood happy - now rambling slowly from point A to point B - still sweet yes, but energy and passion and joie de vivre distinctly lacking. Even the mirror tells the story. Softness where I used to know firm. Lines where smooth previously reigned. Circles and fatigue that once knew only fun and late nights under bright lights. People - both admired from afar and loved deeply, up close and personal - no longer here.
Lest you think this is a sad, whiny, nostalgic post, let me be clear: I'd change nothing of the passage of time, and nothing of my life today. Except maybe my own practice of being mindful of it.
Because maybe - just maybe - living mindfully will color time's passing with deeper meaning, more relevance, more gratitude.
Every moment is a blessing and I want to squeeze each drop from it. To that end, I'm selecting a couple of projects that I'm attempting to embrace for the year ahead. There are so many of them canvassing the interwebs, but I'm keeping it simple. I've chosen two in particular that resonated with me and that, I hope, will help me take 2010 as it comes - but also to revel in each moment and live it fully. A mindful year - that's a concept I can really get behind.
If you'd like, you can follow along. I'll be participating in Shutter Sisters' annual 365 project - combining my love of photography with my need to pay attention - every day. It will result in a photo for each day of the year - sometimes I'll post daily - other times weekly (or even monthly) but I'll be taking at least one photo a day. And I look forward to reliving 2010 via one of my most treasured mediums - photos.
And I'm participating in the lovely Glen Bell's #mindfullist project - I'll follow her prompts and think long and hard on each day's topic. Mostly, I'll post quick thoughts via twitter, but when I'm particularly inspired, I'll post about it here.
And you? Do you think about time's passing? Do you yearn to document it any way? Or are you content to roll with the punches and take it as it comes?
Gwen Bell says often on her blog that our lives are as good as the quality of our attention. I believe that - this year more than ever.
Here's to living mindfully.
The new year is in full swing and pretty soon, the holidays will be a very distant memory. We have returned to the grind and have also landed smack in the heart of winter. As I type this, the snow is coming down hard - it's as if our entire neighborhood has become filler for a giant snow globe. Pretty from inside - not so enjoyable on the trek home from the train station.
In the midst of getting back into the swing of our normal routine, we had another milestone to celebrate. Our little man turned three on Monday, so naturally we had a little shindig for him at home.
I cannot believe he is three. This year, he got even more spirited and counts among his favorite activities the following: chasing Jack anywhere and everywhere, robbing every plush toy of it's stuffing, literally leaving no trace, extracting the squeaker from the stuffing and running all over the house as we chase him down for it, barking at his reflection in the fireplace, the tv stand, and any other shiny surface, snuggling way beneath the down comforter and sleeping as late as we'll let him, chewing on pillows and blankets and zippers (two of our hoodies are just back from the tailor after a run-in with Coop), unraveling and shredding toilet paper faster than we can keep up with him, digging socks from laundry baskets, ajar drawers and anywhere else he can find them, barking ferociously at the vacuum cleaner, and of course - filling our days with laughter and fun and love.
He's an awesome little man - and we love him so. Happy, happy birthday.
Jack dressed up for the occasion:
Mmmmm, the cake was paw lickin' good:
Sporting the birthday boy tee and checking out his presents:
Adorable birthday boy:
We sat around the table and laughed like children, shouting with glee phrases like "dump," and "peel," and "banana!" The competition was fierce of course, and we teased one another mercilessly, all the while toasting with wine and champagne. Such nostalgia in those sounds - fun and hope and memories galore. It was a first for me, ringing in a new year with family game night at home, but I'd happily label it tradition and spend many future new year's eve nights exactly the same.
Dick Clark and his New Year's Rockin Eve provided a festive backdrop as we sat around the fire and chatted (J-Lo's outfit, WTF), laughed at our combined SIX dogs and their antics and watched the littles among us get gussied up and excited to see one year bleed into another.
In between game night festivities and the ball dropping, a couple of us entertained the kids upstairs and playtime morphed into a game that required each munchkin to jump over a large basketball and pose for the photographer (yours truly). Destined to end badly, it still provided a fun photo opp (and a lot of laughs):
The game began to go south right about...NOW:
And....yep, we're done. (he was completely fine - just a bit stunned I think)
Pardon the lack of my usual photo of the ball dropping. My last memory is 11:42. I opened my eyes after that and it was 12:35. For the first time in my life (that I can remember), I was asleep when 2009 yielded to 2010. I'm still deciding what this means and whether or not it is a good sign for the year ahead. For now, I'm going with YES - and maybe it means I'll be quicker to relax? Here's hoping.
New Year's Day brought frigid temps and a beautiful, steady snow. Most of the time, we enjoyed the icy views from inside, snuggled by the fire, but we did venture out to let ALL the kids (fur and human) enjoy a little romp in the snow.
In summary, we enjoyed each other's company and relaxed with peaceful, wintry views like this one:
A few of us partied 'til we dropped:
And we celebrated a new year and all the light and wonder it will bring.
I can't wait to see what's next. And you?
*I am in the process of uploading my full set of photos from the weekend, so if you want to see more, you can click on the photos link at the top of the site and see all of our adventures (I will hopefully have everything uploaded by tomorrow). Especially if you can't get enough of my adorable niece who ALWAYS obliges my need for a photo shoot. She's fierce that way.
We're snuggled by the fire watching snow blanket everything beyond the frosty window panes. The night is quiet and still, streets snow covered and icy. The fur babes are cuddled onto our laps and movies are in constant rotation.
This is the way to begin a new year. I hope you and yours are just as cozy.
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