Mindful

Over the past several years, I've given a lot of thought to the concept of time. More specifically, of its passing.

Like almost everyone, I happily wiled away many youthful years oblivious to this reality. Time's passing left no mark on me. I was young. And happy. And completely immune to nostalgia and age and the act of present being quickly swallowed by future.

I can't say for sure exactly when I began noticing - feeling time's aggressive pull - thinking that all of this has its limit. Acknowledging that in every beginning, there is most certainly an end. But it happened - an almost imperceptible shift - and I started to think (albeit in brief flashes of moments that so far, I'm able to shove back down into the dark where they belong) that it was maybe possible that my best days were behind me.

Of course, the logical side of my brain recognizes this as ridiculous. I've just entered my thirties after all - life is still completely mine for the taking! Still, I see the signs. They're everywhere really. People I love, their faces lined and taut, hair peppered with grey. Creatures that colored my childhood happy - now rambling slowly from point A to point B - still sweet yes, but energy and passion and joie de vivre distinctly lacking. Even the mirror tells the story. Softness where I used to know firm. Lines where smooth previously reigned. Circles and fatigue that once knew only fun and late nights under bright lights. People - both admired from afar and loved deeply, up close and personal - no longer here.

Lest you think this is a sad, whiny, nostalgic post, let me be clear: I'd change nothing of the passage of time, and nothing of my life today. Except maybe my own practice of being mindful of it.

Because maybe - just maybe - living mindfully will color time's passing with deeper meaning, more relevance, more gratitude.

Every moment is a blessing and I want to squeeze each drop from it. To that end, I'm selecting a couple of projects that I'm attempting to embrace for the year ahead. There are so many of them canvassing the interwebs, but I'm keeping it simple. I've chosen two in particular that resonated with me and that, I hope, will help me take 2010 as it comes - but also to revel in each moment and live it fully. A mindful year - that's a concept I can really get behind.

If you'd like, you can follow along. I'll be participating in Shutter Sisters' annual 365 project - combining my love of photography with my need to pay attention - every day. It will result in a photo for each day of the year - sometimes I'll post daily - other times weekly (or even monthly) but I'll be taking at least one photo a day. And I look forward to reliving 2010 via one of my most treasured mediums - photos.

And I'm participating in the lovely Glen Bell's #mindfullist project - I'll follow her prompts and think long and hard on each day's topic. Mostly, I'll post quick thoughts via twitter, but when I'm particularly inspired, I'll post about it here.

And you? Do you think about time's passing? Do you yearn to document it any way? Or are you content to roll with the punches and take it as it comes?

Gwen Bell says often on her blog that our lives are as good as the quality of our attention. I believe that - this year more than ever.

Here's to living mindfully.

 

Comments

[MIL]

As always April, you inspire me with your writings. As a women on the down hill slide of age I have learned to take the time to watch the sun come up some mornings, be more aware of my surroundings....but there is also a part of me that will think of my children and grandchildren and wonder will I see them celebrate there old age, see graduations from college, marriages, great grandchildren. I now realize with my Mothers passing how blessed she was to have the time to experience all those events. She has left me with the knowledge that I too need to be more in the present and less in the future or the past. The past is gone, over... and the future....who knows if we will get to it...so the present is what we all must dive into and savor. Be more in the NOW.