Here's the thing: I have let a terrible habit set in as it relates to this space. It goes a little something like...many, many thoughts, a lot to say, great experiences and adventures and moments to remember for this little family, and then the feeling that it's too much for one post or too personal or too hard to sort through or or or. And that results in a weird paralysis which translates to silence and zero moments captured, zero writing muscles flexed. And you know, that's just lame.
Today brings a new month, and with it the opportunity to just dive back in and write our stories without so much thought and navel gazing and obsessing. Enough already.
October whirled by us in a blur of fall themed fun. We picked apples and trolled for the perfect pumpkins, decorated the house in spooky splendor and wrung every drop out of R's second Halloween.
I want to remember so much about this season (my favorite), this phase and specific moment in our lives. It's all going too fast, but we are planting our feet firmly in the moments and loving these days together. I think that warrants celebration or at least a mention.
There's a lot of sadness swirling around these days and we have family members and friends facing all varieties of difficult seasons, and while I want to be a supportive and real and present friend/wife/sister/mom/etc through all of that, I also just want to wrap us up in the blanket of right now. Hug each other tightly and celebrate the opportunity to be together, to be here, to be at all.
There are big things to think about, navigate, resolve, but there's also right now, this day ahead of me. Stickers to cover books with, blocks to turn into towers, fur babies to snuggle, this picture of life and love and gratitude that we are painting with our girl. For that, I need to get out of my own head more and just savor the smaller joys, their tendency to pile up atop one another into huge reasons to be happy and grateful and kind.
Right now, in the midst of the lovely fall season, those moments look like this:
1. My little zebra, trick-or-treating with zest, tearing up and down the sidewalks with her bucket, savoring each thump of candy hitting the bottom and then on to the next. She doesn't walk, she runs. She giggles and sometimes stops midstream to sit on the sidewalk and sort her candy. She gets the opportunity three times this year thanks to BooPalooza in wicker park, trick-or-treat on southport, and Halloween night itself, soggy and gloomy as it was in our Windy City. I tucked her in last night, clad one more time in her pumpkin jammies and I thought "she's so happy right now," and there isn't anything else I want or need.
2. We trekked to the apple orchard and pumpkin patch again this year and it was a blissful day of greeting our favorite animals, picking all variety of apples, riding the big hay truck, running through mazes and enjoying apple and pumpkin themed donuts and candles and festival type food. Those days are good for the soul, and I will remember Rowan's smile and shouts of glee each time she freed an apple from its tree limb home.
3. We sat for our first family photo session last week, and by "sat" I really mean walked and ran and circled all around Montrose Harbor. I will remember what a beautiful day it was, the new to us views of our city, and the discovery of a nature preserve we didn't know existed, right in the throes of a bustling city. Rowan was a blur as always and even though that made photos especially challenging, I can't wait to see how they turn out and capture us as we are right now.
4. All of the normal, mundane stuff. There has been baking and cooking and decorating and shopping and playing and errand running and schedule shuffling and more. Rowan says "bless you!" when we sneeze, she knows multiple animal sounds and shouts them gleefully when asked. She says "Mama! Mama!" when she sees me or needs me and runs over yelling "up!" when she wants to be held. She's so very big and yet still small too, and I am loving this phase with her, even the tantrums and willful displays of her defiance. It's a joy and a privilege to watch her grow.
I hope your fall is lovely and that you had the happiest and spookiest Halloween.
Here's to all that awaits, just around the corner.