Bopril

Martha Stewart Called, and She'd Like Her Kitchen Back

For some strange reason, I woke up this morning, sat straight up in bed and thought "I really need to bake Valentine's Day goodies today." Given my lack of talent or even interest in the kitchen, this was very unusual...but also not an instinct I wanted to fight. When I get an urge to cook anything, I know better than to fight it.

So after completing a few normal Sunday morning activities (you know, greeting the landlord to fix our heater - because really, who needs heat in February? In Chicago? No one!), I headed to the grocery store to secure the necessary ingredients.

Because I am sports adverse and Hubby is out of town, I completely forgot that today was Super Bowl Sunday. Allow me to share a little hard earned advice with you - DO NOT - under ANY circumstance - EVER - go to the grocery store on this particular day. Every aisle was 3 to 5 carts deep, practically everything was out of stock (even bell peppers, WTF), and the lines were seriously obscene. Thank God for Twitter and my iphone; its all that kept me sane while I waited.

Anyway, I came home, took the fur babes for a brisk winter afternoon walk and then got down to business. I made red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and sprinkles (my fave) and a huge vat of sugar cookies - also with icing and sprinkles. I'm quite pleased with myself and hoping my colleagues are ready for a major sugar high tomorrow.

Hubby finally returns (feels like he's been gone FOREVER) tomorrow night and I'm going to greet him with a huge cookie and all the cupcakes he wants. Then he'll be my valentine. For sure.

And you? I hope you had a lovely weekend. If you'll excuse me, I now need to go back to not watching the super bowl and not eating the insane quantity of sweets taunting me from my (er, Martha's) kitchen. 

PS - I was caught up in the baking excitement and forgot to take any photos - you'll just have to use your imagination to know how drool-worthy my treats are. Sorry!

On My Mind...

For your reading pleasure, I submit the following list of random (and very likely mundane - at least to you) list of items occupying space in my mind, on my to-do list, or both:

• I must get back into my early morning workout routine. Yes, once again after establishing a great "groove," I have fallen off the wagon and am now going weeks without workouts. Again. Yes, again. Shut up. My name is April and I am addicted to a vicious and terribly unproductive fitness cycle. Please send help. Or chocolate.
• I've been thinking a lot lately about an attitude shift. More to come on this one when I'm ready (read: when I'm actually able to articulate what I mean by this), but for now, enough to know that it is something I recognize a need for and will soon put into action. 
• Cooper gave us quite a scare last week - turned out to just be a mini back injury, but had my mind going to very scary, very dark places. Also? I'm terrible with vet visits and am hit with huge waves of anxiety the minute we walk in the door. How am I ever supposed to witness a human child receive vaccinations is entirely beyond me. 
• Confession number 1: I have been watching a soap opera off and on since high school. Confession number 2: it has mostly been "on." Confession number 3: I got an embarrassing amount of joy out of seeing Jason and Sam rekindle their romance this week. I'll let you determine which soap. It strikes me that I could easily become that old lady who always has to watch her "stories."
•   I'm so excited and sending out major congrats to our good friends Brett and Laurie who welcomed a baby boy into the world yesterday - on my baby brother's birthday no less! 
• I have said this before, but I'm going to say it again anyway. I need to get in a more regular groove of posting to this blog. Maybe I need to create my own editorial calendar? Or maybe that will make this space seem too much like work...must think more about this. Will report back. 
• Must diversify my diet - need to get a better variety of veggies into rotation - too heavy on the potatoes as of now. I've never met a potato I didn't love. No, seriously. Never. 
• I wanted to know what all the buzz was about, so I randomly jumped into both True Blood and Mad Men a couple of weeks ago. I totally get in. In both cases. Suddenly, I just can't get enough of vampires. Odd. And also? That show is a little crazy. And a lot graphic. And completely awesome. Same for Mad Men. In an entirely different way, but still? Awesome.  

  
  I could do this for ages, but I realize you've likely bailed before even getting to this point. So here's a cute doggie photo to make up for it.
  Sugar Daddy. And Half of Cooper. Terrible cropping, but I love this pic!
  
  

And So it Goes

Well, hello there. It seems that I remembered today that I have a blog. And that I like to write on that blog. And also? That my posts are far too infrequent of late. Sorry about that, Internet!

Suffice it to say that I've been living on the outer edges of my comfort zone lately. Not always in a good way. I certainly recognize the need and the benefit in stretching my comfort zone, but these past few weeks have been a different experience altogether. I'll say only that for now, but I haven't been able to come here and articulate my feelings because truthfully, just sorting through them and keeping my head down to get through endless days has sucked up every ounce of my energy, my time, and my "output" so to speak.

Posts have materialized in my head, only to disappear completely the minute I fire up my Mac leaving me to stare blankly at my screen, the blinking of the cursor quite literally taunting me with each flash.

I've been reading a lot about authenticity and freedom to chart your own course in life and about the reality that, to really embrace this and more importantly, to live it, requires a level of courage (and often sacrifice) that I am not sure I currently possess.

So for now, I keep walking. Because really, what is my alternative? One foot in front of the other and a constant reminder that I can control only my own path and my reactions to any given situation. From challenging times, we grow. I believe this. Even when it is hard to see the forest for the trees when in the depths of it (don't have a better word...what is IT? Not sure...life, career, self worth, the search for inspiration? who knows.)

I'm focusing a lot on that old quote that I heard ad nauseam in high school and college and beyond: "Many people miss opportunity because it is dressed in overalls and it looks like work." I have no clue who to attribute this to anymore, but I'm trying to find my own personal truth in its meaning. I am searching for the opportunity in situations both challenging and mundane. I have to believe that the search will pay off, and eventually, if I look long and hard enough, I will find what I'm looking for.